I think I finally know the reason...

why I’m so hard on myself.  Some things are just not enough.

It is because when you’re surround by such a high class society, you tend to want everything and want the world to revolve around you.  It is all about wanting and not needing.

It is because everyone here in Orange County is so attractive and people kill to look their best.

It is because everyone wants to be someone else because they’re better lookin’, better social status, better hair, better face, better clothes, better car, better house, better this…, better that…, etc.

I feel it is a hard society to grow up in and expectations are high.

Basically, a lot of things are a competition here and I wish it didn’t have to be that way.

(total break down).